


Countless Defeat

by 1NARINTAR0



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27432265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1NARINTAR0/pseuds/1NARINTAR0
Summary: In the game of love, there is always a winner, and I happen to be the other guy who goes home and cry.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Yamaguchi Week 2020





	Countless Defeat

**Author's Note:**

> I am in pain...

You're standing silently, breathing on the thin air of the city, as you stare at the blue moon. Holding a photograph of it, but you cannot feel its warmth; it disturbs your calmness. Never have you realized that you will lose that sight sooner than you expected it. You drown yourself in the deepest of the night, and from all the unchecked bucket list, you believed you will finish. 

As the clock struck three, you received a phone call, and you answered it without any hesitation. "Don't look at the moon," you said in unison. His voice is full of anger, but yours sounded empty. You slightly flinched at the horrible sound you both made; it's because the moon sucked up my soul, you defended to yourself. 

For the first time, you decided to look at the unread messages in your inbox. They're all from the different random numbers, but you knew that they are what you use to call your "friends," when life is still worth living. "Look outside," they said at different times and days. They knew you would love the view but not the pain it could bring you. How pitiful... how shameful, you whispered to yourself. 

You heard footsteps from your back but did not bother giving it a glance; the only thing you want to look at is the moon. Always the moon because it's the last thing that will remind you of his warmth. "Stop looking at the moon, you will never see him again, goddamn it!" he argued. You look at his eyes- how long has it been? 3 months? 7 months? You lost counts of days because you looked and cared at the moon and those pictures he left you. He clenched his fist and tried to put his tears away from the painful sight of yours.

"It's been a year, Tadashi. Let him go already. Even if you don't want you have to-" You cut him off.

"How could I? How could a year without him be compared to the decades I spent my time with him." In that accident, you damaged one of your eyes, and you lost your ability to walked. Some say it such an unfortunate thing because you can't play volleyball anymore. But you tell yourself you do not even deserve this second life. Isn't it more painful for him? He will never even get a chance to touch and see volleyball. He goddamn lost his life!   
  
"When the doctor finally said that there could be a chance to lengthen his remaining life span from his incurable sickness I invited him to go for a stargazing that he always wanted to do. And if I only d-didn't-" You were not able to finish your sentence as he immediately embraced you. 

"It's not your fault that Kei died. No one blamed you for his death neither him. He saved you because Kei wants you to continue living your life." You feel his body shaking, and his tears wet your sleeves. Those stupid tears start to fall again into your eyes. 

"Tadashi... I cant lose you too, please." he begged. You felt like shit at that moment. You knew that once the other guy wakes up from his long sleep, he will be forgotten again. After all, he did not even lose his fight yet, he is in a coma, but he is still there. So the tighter he embraced you, the painful things get. You can clearly hear his heartbeat, and you know it does not scream your name. 

You whispered to him. "Stop it, Tobio. We all know that there are three people in that car. He forgot I was there, while on the other hand, you try to forget 'he' was also with us." It's actually pretty funny that few hours before the car crash, you asked Kei if he really loves you, or it just makes him guilty you never left his side even when he gets terminally ill. Because you saw how his eyes shine differently when that person visits him and how normal and lamely he looks at you when it's just you and him. 

"Tsuki saved Shoyo, not me—" And you got your answer that day. You didn't die physically, but your heart did. So as you looked at Tobio, you asked yourself again, how many times you have to be defeated by the same person? _Countless defeat in the game of love, but I remain the winner in the game of unrequited love._

"...And you love Shoyo, not me, Tobio." 

**Author's Note:**

> ... and I hope you are too. Thank you for reading.


End file.
